The winner of Teen Drama Dropout‘s 2nd matchup: Glee vs. Freaks and Geeks was decided this week, so naturally that means it’s time for more themed cocktails. Last week, I went classy with both The Roswell and The One Tree Hill. Sure, I could have gone with Everclear and Mountain Dew and gotten that same alien-slime green color for The Roswell. But I didn’t. I went with Green Chartreuse because, well, Everclear is disgusting. This week’s cocktail matchup was decidedly more lowbrow.
In the TV matchup, Glee never stood a chance against fan favorite Freaks and Geeks. Mine was the lone dissenting voice advocating for Glee. For the second week in a row, however, the underdog show has the favored cocktail. It’s probably not hard to see why.
For those of you unfamiliar with the show, Glee follows the trials and tribulations of a high school show choir as they navigate their awkward teenage years by spontaneously bursting into song and dance. Glee kids being the lowest of the low in the social hierarchy means they get doused with slushies pretty much every day by the jocks and cheerleaders, so naturally the theme cocktail is slushie-based. It is also an homage to my own youth. One year in college, my best friend and I moved into an apartment across the street from a 7-11. Not only was it
terrible amazing because it gave us 24-hour access to junk food, but it lead to the creation of our then-favorite alcoholic beverage, the “Ghetto Daiquiri.” Basically we’d walk over to the 7-11, buy a Big Gulp sized Slurpee, add vodka or rum or whatever we happened to have around, and drink it through a straw. Now that I’m an adult, I’ve made it more refined. Sort of.
1 cherry Slurpee (or other preferred slushie brand and flavor)
2 oz vodka
1 chilled martini glass (or other fancy glass of your choice)
Pour vodka into a chilled glass. Top with slushie. Stir.
Freaks and Geeks follows the decidedly non-singing/dancing lives of the Freaks (stoners who hang out under the bleachers) and the Geeks (nerdy freshman boys who still have Star Wars sheets). This cocktail (if you can call it that) is a reference to my favorite episode, where the Geeks swap out a keg of real beer for a keg of fake beer at a party, and everyone gets fake drunk. This drink doesn’t actually taste good, but it might help you win all the games of quarters.
The Freaky Geek:
12 oz non-alcoholic beer
1 chilled pint glass (wide-mouthed mason jar preferred)
Pour non-alcoholic beer into chilled glass. Ditch the bottle immediately so nobody knows it’s fake beer.
The Verdict: The alcoholic slushie won unanimously. It wasn’t really a fair fight, but then again, neither is life. Tune in next week when the Texas football players of Friday Night Lights take on the orphans in Party of Five in cocktail form. Cheers!